Tuesday's on the phone to me

Today I revisited a stunningly convincing essay from McSweeney's that claims "She Came in through the Bathroom Window" is the greatest song in rock 'n' roll. I think the author may be my male doppelganger, because many of his opinions ring true with my own. For example:

• The Beatles are the greatest rock group of all time (Clearly.)
  
• Abbey Road is their best album (Picking a favorite Beatles album is like choosing between your own children, but when it comes down to it, I always come back to Abbey Road. You know your mother secretly likes you best.)
  
• The B-side medley is "quite possibly the best, most genre- and mood-busting twenty-two and a half minutes of rock music ever recorded" (Abso-frickin'-lutely. It never ceases to boggle my mind - it's so lovely and bizarre and disparate and perfect.)
  
• "Almost everything Paul McCartney wrote is pretty" (The only exceptions I can think of are that "Freedom" tripe and "Why Don't We Do It In The Road?")
• "McCartney was the most multifarious and phenomenally gifted songwriter within a group sporting a trio of musical divinities" (Paulites unite! Lennon was a genius too and George frequently came close, but Paul is bar none the best and most important songwriter of the 20th century.)
  

Tom Bissell, are you me?! You have me on everything except your central claim: that "She Came in through the Bathroom Window" is the best song on the best album of the best band ever. Personally, I'd have to side with "You Never Give Me Your Money" or the impossibly gorgeous "Golden Slumbers," but hey, to each his own. The sheer audacity of your claim (come on, who but the very serious Beatles fan has ever even heard of "Bathroom"?) plus the perfect alignment of our basic Beatley beliefs make me love you. And isn't love all you need?