Awfully great

Today the results were announced from one of my favorite annual contests, the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, where there is no such thing as too bad, too cliche, too much. The contest rewards the author who can pen the most awful first sentence of a fictional novel, and is named for the great Victorian novelist who wrote the immortal first line "It was a dark and stormy night."

This year's winner came from Jim Guigli of Carmichael, California. He wrote:

"Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean."

Awesome. Check out their website for past winners, words from the World's Worst Poet (not J.J. Redick, apparently), and the marvelous game "Dickens or Bulwer?" To misquote Spinal Tap, there's such a fine line between literature and crap.